When I was one week old, I had a blood clot in my left leg and had to have my leg amputated above the knee. Nobody really knows why the blood clot happened. There’s no connection between the blood clot and my type 1 diabetes.
Having one leg and wearing a prosthetic leg is all I’ve known my entire life. When I was younger, I had trouble accepting it, with all the rude comments and stares. I never really felt NORMAL. Then I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 14. Suddenly my focus went away from being an amputee to controlling diabetes. I accepted diabetes much easier than being an amputee. Maybe it’s because I know how important it is to control diabetes. If I don’t learn to manage it, it will kill me. But being an amputee isn’t like that. It’s just there.
So why am I blogging about this? Well, my focus lately has been back to being an amputee. In two weeks, I am having reconstructive surgery. I haven’t had any other surgeries since the amputation, and this surgery is to help reshape the scar tissue. I’m very scared and worried about a lot of things (I naturally tend to look at the bad side of things and dream up the worst possible scenarios).
First, I’m worried about having surgery and being put out with diabetes. What if my blood sugar drops too low during the surgery? Or if the opposite happens and it goes too high? I had to be put out once before to have my wisdom teeth taken out, and I had these same concerns. Obviously, all went well but this surgery will probably take longer.
What about the after effects of surgery on my diabetes? I’m not going to be able to wear a prosthetic for a while and will be on crutches or in a wheelchair, so how is this decreased amount of movement going to affect my blood sugar? Will I be able to still give my own shots? I won’t be able to give shots in my left thigh because it will likely be bandaged for a while. When I give shots in my arm, I prop my left arm up on my right knee. Am I going to be able to do that? Maybe I will have to learn to give shots in my abdomen…ugh!
Then I just have concerns about the surgery itself. What if the surgery doesn’t go how it’s planned, and I won’t be able to wear a prosthetic again? How would I be able to continue in nursing school or ever become a nurse? I know, I’m playing the what if game, and I just need to let it go, have the surgery, and take life from there. Put trust in the doctors and know that I’m in good hands. I will definitely post an update after the surgery and discuss how it affected my blood sugar.
On a kind of ironic side note, April is National Limb Loss Awareness Month!